You're Stupider Than You Look
by Mortis Diablous
Summary: 5 things about a Brit that our dear America just loves! USUK  human and nation names used  I wrote this because of a site i saw.


Title: You're Stupider Than You Look (But It Adds To Your Charm)

A/N: So I was doing my chemistry homework then I came across this site. (See site at the bottom of the fic.) And I thought. HAHAHA- Stupid. So here is a fic to feed my boredom.

Oh and if you're British and this offends you I'm sorry I just had to write about it 'cause for USUK-ness.

Disclaimer: I don't own the site or Hetalia.

* * *

You're Stupider Than You Look

(But It Add To Your Charm)

* * *

Things you should know about British men.

One: Just because they're polite doesn't mean you have to be.

Two: They'll call you weird nicknames. (ex: Duckie)

Three: The maybe all reserved in public but when they get you alone…

Four: Likes American over British.

* * *

_Just because they're polite doesn't mean you have to be._

"Bloody hell Alfred!" The older blonde said jabbing his finger at the younger's stuffed cheek. "Didn't I teach you how to chew your bloody food?"

Alfred manages to let out a laugh with all the burger stuffed in his mouth. After he chews and swallows he smiles brightly and responds, "You did teach me to chew my _bloody_ food! It's just more enjoyable like this!"

"Stupid git."

"You love me anyway!"

A beautiful blush colored Arthur's cheeks and the American smiled.

* * *

_They'll call you weird nicknames._

"Sweetie. Get up."

'_Hng.'_ The American rolls to his side ignoring the poking and shaking the Briton does to get his lover up for lunch. Yes lunch. Not breakfast but lunch.

"I'll give you five minutes okay dear?"

Alfred smiled as the endearment tickled his insides. Five minutes isn't enough. The American feels the sleep hit him once more.

"Duckie, if you don't get up right now I'll have to pour cold water on your feet. Now get the bloody hell up!" And as if to emphasize his point the Briton pulled the blanket off the sleeping man.

With a sleepy laugh Alfred gets up and mutters about how he hates the cold water treatment almost as much as the cold shoulder.

"Artie why do you call me 'duckie'?"

"I most certainly do not!" Arthur says with that brilliant blush creeping up his neck.

"Yes. You do. Especially when you want me to wake up." Alfred says rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and reaching to pull the older nation onto the bed as well.

After a short silence the Arthur says, "D-do you find it o-offensive?"

At first Alfred's eyes widen then he giggles and kisses his lover's cheek.

"Iggy, I know you would offend me." America says with a cocky smile.

"You bloody cocky git!" The Briton says cheeks fully flushed and a slight pout for feeling bad for maybe hurting Alfred's ego. He should have known. Pft.

"Well offend me unintentionally!" Alfred finishes with a laugh and kissing Arthur full on the lips.

* * *

_The maybe all reserved in public but when they get you alone…_

Alfred's lips move against the older nation's and begins to nibble on Arthur's lower lip. The Briton slowly opens his mouth and the American slides his tongue in and they begin a battle for dominance. America feels England smile against the kiss as he pulls the American onto the couch.

Nibble finger start to unbutton the white dress shirt and slip it off.

"Artie, blow me."

The Briton smiles and he moves his hands down to the lower and more vital regions of the United States.

"Why couldn't you be this active in public." The American said between kisses.

"Because that would be inappropriate."

Pants are off and they fix positions.

"Whatever Arth-" The American was shut up by a moan as soon as England took his length and deep throated it.

'_Git.'_

_

* * *

_

_Likes American over British._

"Iggy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you rather be doing some British dude?"

The older nation looked at the American with a face that said 'Were you dropped as a child?'

"Alfred, if I wanted a British man I wouldn't be here with you. Stupid."

And that's all Alfred needed to hear.

* * *

A/N: Short but done. There you go people!

Here is that site: (take out the spaces!)

http: / www. ehow. com / how_2044875_ date-british-men. html

(If there is anything you would like me to fix feel free to tell me.)


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